Aunt Julie doing Pinwheel

I will be ok....Eventually.

Kates dress and shoes for prom

At a loss for words

The time is coming and I am really having a tough time....I know that the divorce is what I want but Its so hard. I am feeling so bad for doing it ...I feel bad for him and I know that I cant!! But its not that easy. I love my husband very much and this is breaking my heart weather it does show or not.

I guess I just know that he doesnt have what I have...A great Family...a close family that is always there for me ....Anytime!!

He will be alone and have no support!! That sucks for me and is what is making it so tough for me.

No I havent changed my mind. This just really SUCKS!! :( I just really hope that god will give me the strength to do what I need to do.

Weekend Fun

What Now?

Well ....What now. Im starting to think that I am going to be stuck where I am with the way things are forever!!
Ugh..I went for a loan and it was a no go due to my credit. Then my mom went with me to help me out and still a no go still d ue to my credit.
Its very hard to look forward when eveything seems to hold me back.
I really hope that something goes right for once soon. Im not sure how much more of this my heart and my babies can take.

To Mom

Many Times In My Life

Many times in my life I have disappointed you,
and begun to stray.
But you have pointed me in the right direction,
and sent me on my way.

Many times in my life I've needed a helping hand,
and someone to pull me up.
It was you who gave that helping hand,
and always cheered me up.

Many times I've been sad and down,
and taken it out on you.
But you stood by me and comforted me,
In times that I was bad.

Many times I've needed support,
and to know someone was there.
It was you who held me up,
and showed me how to care.

Many times I've wanted to tell you this,
But never got a chance.
You have helped me out in life,
and got me where I am.

You were there for me through thick and thin,
You never gave up on me and you taught me how to care.
From the deepest of my heart I want to say I love you,
And to thank you for being there for me in times of good and bad.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.. So love the people who treat you right. Love the ones who don't just because you can.. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance , grab it with both hands. If it changes your life , let it. Kiss slowly. Forgive quickly. God never said life would be easy. He just promised it would be worth it.

Yupp ...Giving up.

Well....Nothing has changed. Im sure there is something that I could do to make things better in this so called relationship I have with my husband, BUT......I guess im just not willing anymore. I have never really been able to figure out what it is about me or what I do that is so bad. Oh yes I have done my share of terrible things but really thought that I was loved enough to be forgiven.
There really are no words to describe the hurt and dissapointment I feel for what is happening. I just simply cant do it anymore. My heart cant take it and niether can Kaitlyn and Chas.

Thanks for listening...Thats all for now!!

Love and hugs!

Can you say "confused"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFGbSWP-G-o

Finally something goes right

Ok so I guess that maybe 2009 will turn out to be ok after all. I had an interview On Saturday for another babysitting job, The woman had three other people to meet with and called me on Sunday morning to let me know I was her top pick!! Yeeha...She also asked me to start the job this Tuesday....So awesome!!!! That means Old Forge here we come!! I also got a phone call from one of the ladies that I babysit for asking me to clean for them a couple times do to the fact that they are going to be selling their house and they want to really do some deep cleaning and getting rid of some of the clutter. So that will be some extra cash .....Thank goodness!! Its about damn time. Well happy Sunday everyone, Hope you are enjoying your day.

omg!! Too funny!!

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My Babies

The cast is OFF!! For now.....The Dr wants me to walk on it for a while and see how it feels, If I still have pain then to use the crutches til next appointment then we will go from there.

He is a little concerned that I am young and seem to be pretty healthy and its still not 100% better so we will see whats next in 4 weeks.

I CANT WAIT TO SHAVE MY LEG!! lol

Cast off?

Well Today the cast may be coming off.
Lets cross our fingers and hope. I will blog to let ya know what happens.
Stay tuned.

Some explaining to do.

Well I am pretty sure there are some people out there wondering why I blog videos and songs other than typing.

I guess I would have to say that its a little easier for me to express maybe through music.

I listen and really hear what the words are saying and it hits home I guess. So listen closely. Those words always mean something. Little cheesy maybe but it really works for me.

Happy Tuesday!!

Shattered

Well I am so glad that Friday finally got here.

I am sad to say I have nothing planned. I should be happy about that I guess but ......The weekends can be very uneventful around here.

So I guess I will just rest and keep laundry done up!!

Yeeeeha!

I know I know, I am so bad at the blogging thing sometimes.

I guess alot of times I feel that If there isn't anything good to blog about I just wont.

anyway lets see.....In the last couple of months things have been pretty hectic with Christmas and all. Few days before Christmas I had a cast put on my right foot. I had been having problems with it due to something falling on it back in March...long time ago huh? Well it didn't bother me until summertime so I found a foot Dr and he has been seeing me since August. anyway after going through different types of xrays they found that it was very badly bruised and no matter what we did for it, it wasn't healing so now Iam in a cast and using crutches...Boy does that suck.

The cast should be coming off next Tuesday but we shall see.

Christmas was great though, We spent Christmas eve and Christmas at mom and dads in Penn Yan.

We had a great time!! I was actually able to see everyone while I was there which is very hard to do on a regular visit.

We have all been sick around here lately. Chas with an upper respiratory infection, Kate with a sinus infection and I got the double whammy....Bronchitis and a sinus infection. Thank goodness for antibiotics. I'm three days in with it and still feeling pretty crappy but hopefully by tomorrow that will change.

So I keep thinking about all the changes I would like to see for this upcoming year, my goal is to have something done with my teeth. I love to smile and laugh with my kids but always remember that my teeth need some help. Money just isn't there so maybe I will get lucky and Kate will write in to TLC....What not to wear and they can fix me up!! LOL

I also would like to work on my weight a bit....I know I know....I'm healthy, But I'm not happy with the numbers so I would like to just lose a few pounds and get more good exercise.

Last but not least.....Just be happy!! What about all of you out there? What are your goals for this year?

That's all for now, I will try to be better about blogging too!! :)

Love this song!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YlV-NEsYkA